How to Get What You Want

by   Maria Chona N. Tapucar, Ph.D.

Wanting something is one thing. Getting it is another story. To  make it  easier for you to  get what you want, try following this path which most successful people take.

Requirements

• Belief in yourself
• Pro-active mindset
• Self-discipline
• Patience
• Gratitude

Steps Involved

1   Be clear with what you want. Know exactly what it is that you desire. Be specific about it.

2  Take action. Focusing on your goal (what you want) &  feeling  the energy that comes with  already having it, plan your way to getting it and do the necessary tasks involved in the process.

3  Let it go. Once  the  needed  steps are done, let  the  Universe (a Higher  Being) do  its  part   in  helping you manifest it while you go on with the other constructive things in your life.

4   Be   grateful  for  all   the  blessings  in  your life, recognize  any signs  of  your  desire's  manifestation, and receive it with gratitude. Be assured  that having  a true sense of gratitude all along makes it easier for you to attract things that you like.

Important Information

• Be realistic.
• Have a burning desire to get what you want.
• Trust that you can get it.
• Be genuinely grateful for all your blessings.
• Ask for a professional help from a life coach or somebody else, if necessary.

How to Boost Self-Confidence

by  Maria Chona N. Tapucar, Ph.D.

Boosting  self-confidence is something to be seriously considered if you would like to reach  your  potentials  or if you aim for success in your endeavors. And, it is best  done one step  at  a time; applying a strategy or  so  which  best  suit your values, needs, etc.

Requirements

• Honesty/Realistic Views
• Positive Attitude
• Perseverance
• Exposure to Appropriate Resources

Steps Involved

1  Focus  on  your  positive  attributes  and  achievements. Have a closer look at yourself and concentrate on the good things about you which make you, your friends, and other people like you.

2   Decide which aspect/s of yourself you want to improve on in order to boost your confidence.

3   Write down a few reachable goals and break them down into smaller doable steps.

4  Apply  any  or  a combination  of  these  strategies: (a) Look  for people who have self-confidence and who would  serve  as  your  models.  Find  out  the  things  that  they  do/say  which  make  them   confident. Then, depending  on your values, beliefs, culture, needs, etc., incorporate  the  things you have learned from them into  your life. (b) Find  some  self-help resources --- books, seminars, classes/sessions, websites, etc. --- and apply   any   insights   gained. (c) Have  a  positive  self-talk  or  mantra. (d) Visualize  and  "experience"  your expected results. Think, feel, and act in ways you should... once your goals are accomplished.

5  Spend  some  time  to evaluate  and appreciate  your  progress. Then, continue on applying the techniques which are working for you.

6  Celebrate or reward yourself for any task accomplished.

Important Information

• Be yourself.
• Smile and stand straight.
• Look at people's eyes during conversations/meetings.
• Avoid comparing yourself with others.
• Be realistic. Don't set yourself up for failure by aiming too high.

How to Overcome Fear

by Maria Chona N. Tapucar, Ph.D.

Overcoming  fear  is challenging. It is not  easy; but it is  not  impossible to do either. It is something that one must do in order to accomplish something.

Requirements

• HUMILITY to accept that you have a certain fear 
• DESIRE to overcome it
• COURAGE & DISCIPLINE to do the tasks involved
• PATIENCE & CONVICTION that you can achieve your goal

Steps Involved

1  Acknowledge that you have a certain fear. Do not deny it.

2  Determine  its  nature  and type. Figure out if  it  is real  or imagined and if it is something that is serious or not. If   needed,  ask  another  person's  objective  view  about   it. Then,  define  it: Is  it  fear  of  rejection, of success, of failure, of not being good enough, of not having enough, of not being loved, of not being worthy, of heights, of water, or of something else?

3  Identify  its  cause/s. Is  it  your  low self-esteem, your  upbringing  or  culture, an external pressure, a bad experience, etc.?

4  Do  any  or a  combination  of the following techniques (depending on the nature, type, and causes of your fear   as   well  as  your  personality,  access  to  some   needed    resources  or   services, financial    and   other conditions):

• Visualization  or  Controlling  your  mind/imagination.  Concentrate  on  the  target  results and  try to "experience the feeling of already having/doing them".

• Creating  a "vision board"  and  placing  it  somewhere  where  you  can  see  it always. Stick/draw on it some pictures or symbols of the things that you desire to happen if you don't have fear anymore.

• Writing  a   journal.  Divide  each   entry/page   into  two.  On  the  left  column,  jot  down  your  fear  & everything  related  to  it  (e.g.  symptoms, effects, etc.). On  the  right side, write down the opposite of that fear  &  all  the  things  you experience with it (e.g., the feeling you have, the impact it has on your routine, etc.).  Then, "mentally  delete"  the  entry  on  the  left side  and concentrate on the things you wrote on the right column.

• Doing a  physical  activity. Exercise  at  the gym, walk for 30 minutes or so, do some gardening or any household chore, play tennis, etc.

• Taking deep breaths, relaxing in a comfortable place, temporarily getting out of the situation ("taking a  time-out" from the  situation  that  creates  or  brings  out  the fear), & doing something else which is constructive (e.g. cooking, buying groceries, etc.).

• Reading  self-help articles/books, watching  inspiring shows/movies, attending seminars, visiting web sites which are addressing  your needs, or talking about your fear with someone/people you trust and who could help you.

• Asking for a professional help from a life coach, therapist, etc.

• Designing an action plan and following it seriously until the desired result is achieved.

Important Information

• Choose a technique which you enjoy doing.
• Make sure that it is practical --- something  that  you are  capable of  doing  at a reasonable time, given your existing condition. Otherwise, you will just be setting yourself up for failure.
• Apply any technique or a combination of techniques as needed.
• When in doubt regarding  the  technique to be used or the step to do in overcoming your fear, consult an authority. This also holds true for  a particular situation whereby the fear is "life-threatening" or is something that could put yourself or other people, things, etc. in danger.

How  to  Put  an  End  to  Living  Paycheck  to Paycheck

by Maria Chona N. Tapucar, Ph.D.

Given  the  ever-increasing  prices  of  commodities  and  services, not to  mention their never-ending supply which caters to the diverse "wants" of society, it  is  not  a wonder  to observe  many  people  living paycheck to paycheck. This scenario has become prevalent and, therefore, is often expected.

Requirements

• Honesty
• Proper Knowledge
• Self-Discipline
• Resourcefulness

Steps Involved

1  Face the truth that your supply of money ends when another paycheck term starts.

2  Find out  and  understand  the reasons  behind. Is it because of outrageous expenses borne out of having a "one day millionaire mentality", unnecessary debts, overgenerosity, etc.?

3  Address  each  cause  logically --- according  to  your  financial capabilities --- by creating and sticking to a monthly budget.

4  Have  a  small amount  saved  automatically  if  possible. If  it is hard for you to do so, put coins or bills (or any change from your purchases) in a jar  as often as you can. Let it stay there for a time until it accumulates into a reasonable amount which is enough to open a savings account.

5  Buy  needed  products  and  avail  of  necessary services which  are  having  discounted  prices. Be  alert  to bargain sales offered occasionally or regularly in some stores or business establishments.

6  Make  sure  you  have access to  information pertaining to sample products or free trials and avail of them whenever needed.

7  Moonlight  if  you can  or  do  some home-based business or work. Use the generated income to fund your vacation, education, etc., or to increase your savings.

8  Tithe  and  give  something  to  your  chosen  charitable  organization. Believe  that  anything  given will be returned in tenfolds or more; not necessarily in the same form or manner though.

9  Treat yourself once in a while without spending a lot.

Important Information

• Opt to save in autopilot if given the chance.
• Pay   off   your  debts, especially  those   with  very   high  interest   rates  and  penalty  fees, as  soon  as possible.
• Enjoy  the  process ---  Challenge  yourself  to  get  better  at  saving  and  budgetting or managing your resources each month.
• Don't be too tough on yourself. Learn to have fun along the way. 

How  to  Live  a  Fulfilling  Life

by  Maria Chona N. Tapucar, Ph.D.

Inspired, strengthened, and  guided by  the  prayer  which  is  to  this  effect:  "Lord, give  me  the  courage  to change the  things I can, the serenity to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference", all of us can live a fulfilling life... as contributing individuals to the community and society.

Requirements

• Passion
• Courageous Action
• Grateful Heart

Steps Involved

1  Do  your  best  to  be  in  control  of  the  things  you can while leaving the rest for Someone (or Something) above us to take over.

2  Trust, even if you can not understand it at first, that all the things that are happening to us can be used for our own good.

3  Find  people  who  share  some  common  experiences  with  you.  Observe how they are dealing with those experiences  and  apply  the  knowledge  you  have  obtained  and  the  skills  you  have  learned   in  your  life whenever and wherever possible.

4  Empower  yourself  more  by  finding   and   building  on  your  strengths  to  do  the  things  which  you  are passionate   about.   Instantaneously   recognize    each   accomplishment   you   have   and    reward   yourself accordingly.

5  Count  your  blessings  and  be  grateful  for  them  ---  Celebrate  and  share  them  with  others  in  any way possible.

Important Information

• Think of problems and other unpleasant occurrences or things as blessings (in disguise).
• Believe that every experience is a learning opportunity.
• Be  aware  from  the start  that no matter how hard you try, there are always a number of things which are not meant to be... in your life.